A good friend of mine recently told me that she writes letters to her unborn child. She writes about her dreams for her daughter and the things that scare her and touch her heart. I thought this was a wonderful idea and will open the foundation for an unparalleled bond that mother and daughter will cherish.
I thought I might give this a try myself. But, my friend is thoughtful, creative and dreams in big writing in the sky whereas I tend to sit on the grass and notice all the dead plants around me. So when I sat down to write a letter, here's what I came up with:
Dear Baby in my Belly,
I don't appreciate the addition of love handles you've added onto your temporary home. Really, not necessary.
Love,
The Woman Giving You Life
I wonder if this kid still thinks it has time to change wombs.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
The Internet is a Scary, Scary Place
Good thing I got married so young. This may very well have been my future.
I wonder if she's seen the movie Must Love Dogs. I wonder if she hates it.
(ps - I felt bad for a second about spreading this girl's crazy around but by the end I was pretty convinced it was a joke. I think. I hope. Please, for the love of the future of humanity.)
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Happy Happy Birthday Landon Dear
Today Landon is two. Actually, he turned two on Saturday but by the time I actually get around to posting this, he will still be two. I'm working on tired mommy time here.
I remember when Landon was born (which is not really something you forget). I remember looking at the 2T clothes I got for presents and thinking "he will NEVER wear these." Not only has he worn them but they're now starting to resemble the 90's midriff muscle shirts. And I'll be honest, he's about five packs short of a six.
But here he is, in his two year-old glory. I'm sure every mother reading this is going "Oh you're cute. You think two years old is a big deal. Wait till they're (insert age of oldest child here)." Because sometimes I subconsciously think that about people saying "4 months! My baby is 4 months old!" But I truly thought I would neversurvive maintain some form of sanity keep him alive learn so much as a mother in this period of time. But I have. And I'm so grateful for the little laughing, hyper, stubborn, truck-loving, funny, sweet, golf-loving (like his daddy), mischievous, cookie-eating (like his mama), smart, quirky guy that he is.
Not only have I learned so much these past two years but he's not done too bad himself. So, in typical Mormon-mommy fashion, I will now list a few of Landon's accomplishments to date. Behold his awesomeness!!
In the last two years, Landon has:
Learned the entire alphabet backwards and forwards and is now working on deciphering ancient Mayan dialects using his "ABC Fun for Me!" rosetta stone.
Read five Dostoyevsky classics, in Russian. And then corrected the English translations.
Mastered the art of sharing to the point that he now just gives away his toys to kids he passes on the street.
Successfully initiated peace talks in the Middle East by giving Ghadafi two choices: stop being a butthead or go to time out.
Created a nuclear disarmament NGO based in Iran and North Korea called "Hands are not for hitting and bombs are not for dropping."
Rescued an injured baby bird and nursed it back to health with his sippy cup.
Published an article in the New England Journal of Medicine entitled: "Golden Poop: The Effects of Corn on the Digestive System."
Drew an exact replica of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel on our driveway with chalk which created quite a stir about public displays of religion until the rain came and washed it all away. Which gave him a new idea for the backyard - an ark.
Potty trained himself, our cat and four dogs that live on our street.
Used his homemade satellite to pinpoint the exact location of a certain bearded terrorist mastermind and then used his Fisher Price Laugh & Learn phone (with direct line to the President) to relay the coordinates to a certain Navy special ops team.
Discovered new constellations in the shapes of a fire truck, backhoe loader and bulldozer.
Traced his genealogy back to Adam and Eve.
Learned how to spell genealogy and then taught his mama.
Began his Memoir, tentatively entitled "Doggies are Funny, I Like Trucks."
Happy Birthday to my sweet little man! I can't wait to see what the next two years will bring (world peace? let's start working on that).
I remember when Landon was born (which is not really something you forget). I remember looking at the 2T clothes I got for presents and thinking "he will NEVER wear these." Not only has he worn them but they're now starting to resemble the 90's midriff muscle shirts. And I'll be honest, he's about five packs short of a six.
But here he is, in his two year-old glory. I'm sure every mother reading this is going "Oh you're cute. You think two years old is a big deal. Wait till they're (insert age of oldest child here)." Because sometimes I subconsciously think that about people saying "4 months! My baby is 4 months old!" But I truly thought I would never
Not only have I learned so much these past two years but he's not done too bad himself. So, in typical Mormon-mommy fashion, I will now list a few of Landon's accomplishments to date. Behold his awesomeness!!
In the last two years, Landon has:
Learned the entire alphabet backwards and forwards and is now working on deciphering ancient Mayan dialects using his "ABC Fun for Me!" rosetta stone.
Read five Dostoyevsky classics, in Russian. And then corrected the English translations.
Mastered the art of sharing to the point that he now just gives away his toys to kids he passes on the street.
Successfully initiated peace talks in the Middle East by giving Ghadafi two choices: stop being a butthead or go to time out.
Created a nuclear disarmament NGO based in Iran and North Korea called "Hands are not for hitting and bombs are not for dropping."
Rescued an injured baby bird and nursed it back to health with his sippy cup.
Published an article in the New England Journal of Medicine entitled: "Golden Poop: The Effects of Corn on the Digestive System."
Drew an exact replica of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel on our driveway with chalk which created quite a stir about public displays of religion until the rain came and washed it all away. Which gave him a new idea for the backyard - an ark.
Potty trained himself, our cat and four dogs that live on our street.
Used his homemade satellite to pinpoint the exact location of a certain bearded terrorist mastermind and then used his Fisher Price Laugh & Learn phone (with direct line to the President) to relay the coordinates to a certain Navy special ops team.
Discovered new constellations in the shapes of a fire truck, backhoe loader and bulldozer.
Traced his genealogy back to Adam and Eve.
Learned how to spell genealogy and then taught his mama.
Began his Memoir, tentatively entitled "Doggies are Funny, I Like Trucks."
Happy Birthday to my sweet little man! I can't wait to see what the next two years will bring (world peace? let's start working on that).
 |
| Landon, working on yet another Great American Novel. Or watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on YouTube. |
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. You Mean it Gets Harder??
My good friend Brittney sent these articles to a couple of us to see what we thought. Now how in the heck did she get in my head? The things in these two articles are exactly things that I've been thinking a lot about lately - and things I definitely needed to hear.
http://powerofmoms.com/2011/06/little-kids-little-problems/
http://powerofmoms.com/2011/06/do-children-make-us-happy/
The first article definitely spoke to me the most. Ever since Landon was born I have often found myself wishing away his childhood with dreams of "if only he could sleep, feed himself, tell me what he wants, understand me, understand reason, play nicely, not play in the cat's water bowl, be potty trained, not run out into the parking lot even when I tell him not to, have an extended discussion about the meaning of life with me, etc, then my life would be so much easier."
But some of those things have come, and life isn't easier. It's just different. Good stuff came with the changes, but hard stuff did, too. I remember wanting Landon to walk so badly because I hated having him crawl around on dirty floors when we were out and about.
So he started to walk. Then he started to RUN.
Now his favorite thing to do is shout "WUN AWAY!" and then run away from me at top speed. Who knew little pudgy toddler legs could move at the speed of light when they're doing something they know they're not supposed to?
So things are never going to necessarily get easier - but I've found that the good comes with the bad, often in surprising ways. For instance, I hate the heart-stopping vision of my son running into oncoming traffic, but I am actually glad that he can walk and run around. He seems so much happier than when he was just crawling and able to get a lot more energy out. And more energy expended = better sleeping. The golden ticket.
So whenever those thoughts of "if only he could (insert wishful thinking here)" pop into my head I need to remember that every action (usually) has an opposite and equal reaction. Which means that, even though he's a lot more vocal on his opinions now, he can also choose to voice his little opinion that "mama, I yuv you." And that's something I should never wish away.
http://powerofmoms.com/2011/06/little-kids-little-problems/
http://powerofmoms.com/2011/06/do-children-make-us-happy/
The first article definitely spoke to me the most. Ever since Landon was born I have often found myself wishing away his childhood with dreams of "if only he could sleep, feed himself, tell me what he wants, understand me, understand reason, play nicely, not play in the cat's water bowl, be potty trained, not run out into the parking lot even when I tell him not to, have an extended discussion about the meaning of life with me, etc, then my life would be so much easier."
But some of those things have come, and life isn't easier. It's just different. Good stuff came with the changes, but hard stuff did, too. I remember wanting Landon to walk so badly because I hated having him crawl around on dirty floors when we were out and about.
So he started to walk. Then he started to RUN.
Now his favorite thing to do is shout "WUN AWAY!" and then run away from me at top speed. Who knew little pudgy toddler legs could move at the speed of light when they're doing something they know they're not supposed to?
So things are never going to necessarily get easier - but I've found that the good comes with the bad, often in surprising ways. For instance, I hate the heart-stopping vision of my son running into oncoming traffic, but I am actually glad that he can walk and run around. He seems so much happier than when he was just crawling and able to get a lot more energy out. And more energy expended = better sleeping. The golden ticket.
So whenever those thoughts of "if only he could (insert wishful thinking here)" pop into my head I need to remember that every action (usually) has an opposite and equal reaction. Which means that, even though he's a lot more vocal on his opinions now, he can also choose to voice his little opinion that "mama, I yuv you." And that's something I should never wish away.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Sugar Baby
Sometimes I think that God thinks I'm funny. Not in funny in the "A Priest, a Rabbi and a Mormon Bishop all walk into a bar - OUCH" kind of way but more funny in the "pat her on the head because she thinks she knows what's going on" kind of way. Kind of like when someone gets all dressed up and thinks they're looking super hot as they're walking down the street when in reality they have no idea they have pink undies static-clinged (clung?) to the back of their shirt. I'm sure God doesn't laugh at our misfortune, but you have to admit - seeing that would be kind of funny.
So I like to think I provide plenty of amusement up there. Mainly because I often do think I have it all figured out. Honestly, sometimes I can just hear this quiet chuckling and "Oh, Debbie" with a shake of the head. Usually that's the more rational part of my brain but I try to block it out as much as possible.
Case in point: This post.
Seriously, I knew what was going on. I felt super mood-swingy, more lethargic and just generally more squishy. Thank you, cookie dough dinner. So I wrote about it. I had taken pregnancy tests the week before so I figured I just needed to decompress all my sugar-laced feelings.
((Soft chuckling. Pat on head.))
Later that SAME day, I took a test again (since I had to call the OB to schedule a check up and they always make me take one) and this is what I got:
So it turns out there is a bun in my oven. I'm just hoping it's as sweet as the one I previous thought was taking up all that room (and preferably not made of cinnamon).
I have to admit I was a little relieved that there was something to explain all the weirdness. I am growing a human being, after all so I'm allowed to be crazy, right? (SAY RIGHT, SAY RIGHT!!!!).
Now that my sugar bun and I are finally spending more time outside of the bathroom then in it, I am happy to say that Landon will be a big brother on December 5th!
Oh, boy. Talk about thinking that you have it all figured out. Poor kid has no idea what's about to hit him. ((soft chuckle, patting Landon's head)).
So I like to think I provide plenty of amusement up there. Mainly because I often do think I have it all figured out. Honestly, sometimes I can just hear this quiet chuckling and "Oh, Debbie" with a shake of the head. Usually that's the more rational part of my brain but I try to block it out as much as possible.
Case in point: This post.
Seriously, I knew what was going on. I felt super mood-swingy, more lethargic and just generally more squishy. Thank you, cookie dough dinner. So I wrote about it. I had taken pregnancy tests the week before so I figured I just needed to decompress all my sugar-laced feelings.
((Soft chuckling. Pat on head.))
Later that SAME day, I took a test again (since I had to call the OB to schedule a check up and they always make me take one) and this is what I got:
 |
| I actually took a third one the next day too. You know what they say about 3 witnesses... |
So it turns out there is a bun in my oven. I'm just hoping it's as sweet as the one I previous thought was taking up all that room (and preferably not made of cinnamon).
I have to admit I was a little relieved that there was something to explain all the weirdness. I am growing a human being, after all so I'm allowed to be crazy, right? (SAY RIGHT, SAY RIGHT!!!!).
Now that my sugar bun and I are finally spending more time outside of the bathroom then in it, I am happy to say that Landon will be a big brother on December 5th!
Oh, boy. Talk about thinking that you have it all figured out. Poor kid has no idea what's about to hit him. ((soft chuckle, patting Landon's head)).
Thursday, June 2, 2011
The Big 3-0
Today is Tyler's 30th birthday. You may remember his 29th, memorialized here. But probably not. You know why? Because I did nothing. Well, not nothing. But my hands were tied. How do you celebrate someone's birthday when you don't even know if they'll be home in time for their own party? And what bodily fluid they'll be wearing when they do show up? It's a struggle, I tell you.
But today Tyler is 30. It's big. It's momentous. It's old-er. He can no longer look at Jersey Shore kids and be like "that's my generation." Not that he could ever do that before. Or that he ever wanted to. But, you know, now he really can't. Actually, now I kind of wish I was 30 too.
The funny thing about Tyler is that I think he has been 30 since he was 10. Always so responsible. Always so reasonable. Always so...elderly. I love him because he taught me that going to bed at 9 is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
So in honor of Tyler's 30th birthday, I have decided to come up with 30 ways to describe him. 30 things that make up the man that is my best friend, my husband and the person I feel lucky to have been chosen by.
TYLER
1. Loving
2. Compassionate
3. Responsible
4. Pragmatic
5. Calm
6. Awesome father
7. Handsome
8. Confident,
9. But Humble
10. Hard worker
11. Dedicated
12. Very handy - he can figure out anything
13. Fun - he can make our son laugh more than anything else
14. Kind
15. Patient - mostly these are in response to me
16. Forgiving
17. Easy to please
18. Uncomplicated
19. NORMAL - he's so normal it's almost weird. I like to think I make up for this in strides
20. Funny
21. Quiet - sometimes, when it's about others. He never needs the spotlight.
22. Strong
23. Hopeful - always knows everything will be okay
24. Affectionate
25. A natural leader, even when he doesn't want to be
26. Admirable
27. Strong-willed
28. Protective
29. Unassuming
30. My opposite in so many ways that we seem to fit together perfectly
Happy Birthday Tyler! I love you!
But today Tyler is 30. It's big. It's momentous. It's old-er. He can no longer look at Jersey Shore kids and be like "that's my generation." Not that he could ever do that before. Or that he ever wanted to. But, you know, now he really can't. Actually, now I kind of wish I was 30 too.
The funny thing about Tyler is that I think he has been 30 since he was 10. Always so responsible. Always so reasonable. Always so...elderly. I love him because he taught me that going to bed at 9 is a wonderful, wonderful thing.
So in honor of Tyler's 30th birthday, I have decided to come up with 30 ways to describe him. 30 things that make up the man that is my best friend, my husband and the person I feel lucky to have been chosen by.
TYLER
1. Loving
2. Compassionate
3. Responsible
4. Pragmatic
5. Calm
6. Awesome father
7. Handsome
8. Confident,
9. But Humble
10. Hard worker
11. Dedicated
12. Very handy - he can figure out anything
13. Fun - he can make our son laugh more than anything else
14. Kind
15. Patient - mostly these are in response to me
16. Forgiving
17. Easy to please
18. Uncomplicated
19. NORMAL - he's so normal it's almost weird. I like to think I make up for this in strides
20. Funny
21. Quiet - sometimes, when it's about others. He never needs the spotlight.
22. Strong
23. Hopeful - always knows everything will be okay
24. Affectionate
25. A natural leader, even when he doesn't want to be
26. Admirable
27. Strong-willed
28. Protective
29. Unassuming
30. My opposite in so many ways that we seem to fit together perfectly
Happy Birthday Tyler! I love you!
 |
| How could you not love a guy willing to fly a butterfly kite because his son likes the streamers that hang off the back? Impossible, I say. |
Sunday, May 8, 2011
The Mother of All Days
I've never quite understood birthdays. Don't get me wrong, I'll never turn down a chocolate cake (ever) or a big box with a bow on top (unless something inside is breathing) but I've always felt a little guilty having everyone celebrate and congratulate me. I mean, I didn't actually do anything. It was my mom who did all the work. In fact, here are my contributions to my own birth:
-I refused to come out even after over 20 hours of labor
-When I did finally move I kicked my mom's rib out just to show my displeasure
-I was also facing the wrong way because I was NOT going to make this easy on anyone
-I made my foot go slightly clubbed just out of spite (well, probably not. But I am awfully stubborn)
Being the 6th kid, you would think that I would have just leisurely popped out after a few minutes, high-fived the doctors and nurses and been like "yo momma, let's get this show on the road!" (isn't that how you talked as a baby?).
But I didn't. And neither did any of the 5 before me. So for awhile I've felt like birthdays should be a day of appreciation for the mother, not the kid-who-just-happened-to-be-kicked-out-of-a-comfy-womb-and-is-none-too-happy-about-it-either-and-I'll-let-you-know-it-for-the-next-18-years.
That's the nice thing about Mother's Day. It's finally putting recognition where it deserves. Technically, everyday should be Mother's Day but I've only felt that way since I had a son of my own. Never say I'm self centered.
So I want to take this day to officially recognize my own mother for all that she has done for me. I should also do this daily, I know. And maybe I do since everyday I think "man, this mother stuff is hard." But I still want to recognize my mom for all the things she has given me, not just life, but confidence, encouragement, unconditional love, the beginnings of a testimony and a lot of laughter along the way.
Here are a few things I learned from my mom:
-I refused to come out even after over 20 hours of labor
-When I did finally move I kicked my mom's rib out just to show my displeasure
-I was also facing the wrong way because I was NOT going to make this easy on anyone
-I made my foot go slightly clubbed just out of spite (well, probably not. But I am awfully stubborn)
Being the 6th kid, you would think that I would have just leisurely popped out after a few minutes, high-fived the doctors and nurses and been like "yo momma, let's get this show on the road!" (isn't that how you talked as a baby?).
But I didn't. And neither did any of the 5 before me. So for awhile I've felt like birthdays should be a day of appreciation for the mother, not the kid-who-just-happened-to-be-kicked-out-of-a-comfy-womb-and-is-none-too-happy-about-it-either-and-I'll-let-you-know-it-for-the-next-18-years.
That's the nice thing about Mother's Day. It's finally putting recognition where it deserves. Technically, everyday should be Mother's Day but I've only felt that way since I had a son of my own. Never say I'm self centered.
So I want to take this day to officially recognize my own mother for all that she has done for me. I should also do this daily, I know. And maybe I do since everyday I think "man, this mother stuff is hard." But I still want to recognize my mom for all the things she has given me, not just life, but confidence, encouragement, unconditional love, the beginnings of a testimony and a lot of laughter along the way.
 |
| My mom and I at my wedding. I'm not sure if you can see the resemblance. |
1. Look for the good in others (I'm not as good at this as she is).
2. Never never stop learning.
3. How to eat a raw artichoke.
4. How to feel guilty getting rid of food, even if it's starting to walk out of the fridge on its own.
5. How to put butter on things that should not have butter on them. Like PB&J sandwiches. On my own I learned that this is super gross.
6. You can get through anything with the Lord.
7. How to make a mean potato salad.
8. How to be a spiritual anchor.
9. How to be a good sister (also something I'm not as good at)
10. That I am a daughter of God.
In addition to my mom, I've also been lucky enough to have a few other great influences in my life that have shown me what it means to be a mother. I don't know how much these women know I have watched them. Let me make that sound less creepy. Watched them and admired them. There we go.
 |
| My sister and sisters-in-law. PS- I didn't have a picture of just the girls on my computer so just look at them. The guys are pretty cool, too. I guess. PPS- I'm sure you noticed the giant chasm next to me. That's where Tyler should be. But he had to work at the hospital. Doesn't it look like I was ditched by my baby daddy and was now shunned from the family? It's only funny because it's not true. |
I am also very fortunate to have another great example of a mother very close to me. Like I always say, I hit the jackpot of in-laws. She raised 5 great sons and is teaching me how to raise another:
 |
| My MIL and Landon |
And of course, a few of my biggest mothering inspirations:
Okay, just kidding about that last one. But, you know, I'm sure trying to juggle diapers, algebra homework, texting, colic and how to hide your stretch marks in your prom dress is really difficult and they're trying to be the best moms that they can. No judgements here. Not too much anyway.
And on that note...
I'd like to wish every woman out there a Happy Mother's Day and thank you to all of you who try, everyday, just to make it to the next with everyone in tact. Someday, they'll be writing a blog post about you. Except with holograms. And lasers.
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