Sunday, June 12, 2011

Happy Happy Birthday Landon Dear

Today Landon is two. Actually, he turned two on Saturday but by the time I actually get around to posting this, he will still be two. I'm working on tired mommy time here.

I remember when Landon was born (which is not really something you forget). I remember looking at the 2T clothes I got for presents and thinking "he will NEVER wear these." Not only has he worn them but they're now starting to resemble the 90's midriff muscle shirts. And I'll be honest, he's about five packs short of a six.

But here he is, in his two year-old glory. I'm sure every mother reading this is going "Oh you're cute. You think two years old is a big deal. Wait till they're (insert age of oldest child here)." Because sometimes I subconsciously think that about people saying "4 months! My baby is 4 months old!" But I truly thought I would never survive maintain some form of sanity keep him alive learn so much as a mother in this period of time. But I have. And I'm so grateful for the little laughing, hyper, stubborn, truck-loving, funny, sweet, golf-loving (like his daddy), mischievous, cookie-eating (like his mama), smart, quirky guy that he is.

Not only have I learned so much these past two years but he's not done too bad himself. So, in typical Mormon-mommy fashion, I will now list a few of Landon's accomplishments to date. Behold his awesomeness!!

In the last two years, Landon has:

Learned the entire alphabet backwards and forwards and is now working on deciphering ancient Mayan dialects using his "ABC Fun for Me!" rosetta stone.

Read five Dostoyevsky classics, in Russian. And then corrected the English translations.

Mastered the art of sharing to the point that he now just gives away his toys to kids he passes on the street.

Successfully initiated peace talks in the Middle East by giving Ghadafi two choices: stop being a butthead or go to time out.

Created a nuclear disarmament NGO based in Iran and North Korea called "Hands are not for hitting and bombs are not for dropping."

Rescued an injured baby bird and nursed it back to health with his sippy cup.

Published an article in the New England Journal of Medicine entitled: "Golden Poop: The Effects of Corn on the Digestive System."

Drew an exact replica of Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel on our driveway with chalk which created quite a stir about public displays of religion until the rain came and washed it all away. Which gave him a new idea for the backyard - an ark.

Potty trained himself, our cat and four dogs that live on our street.

Used his homemade satellite to pinpoint the exact location of a certain bearded terrorist mastermind and then used his Fisher Price Laugh & Learn phone (with direct line to the President) to relay the coordinates to a certain Navy special ops team.

Discovered new constellations in the shapes of a fire truck, backhoe loader and bulldozer.

Traced his genealogy back to Adam and Eve.

Learned how to spell genealogy and then taught his mama.

Began his Memoir, tentatively entitled "Doggies are Funny, I Like Trucks." 

Happy Birthday to my sweet little man! I can't wait to see what the next two years will bring (world peace? let's start working on that). 

Landon, working on yet another Great American Novel.
Or watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on YouTube. 


  1. You are one of my favorite moms ever. I do have to point out, though, that you left out Landon's musical abilities. I heard he composed and scripted a five-hour opera in Finnish. No need to be modest.

  2. You are too funny! Wasn't he also on billboards too? I thought I saw him pouting on one of them while walking in Times Square.