Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Unexplainables

I had one of those experiences today that was just so incredibly ridiculous there are no words to properly capture its utter absurdity. It was one of those times when you’re looking around to see if anyone (ANYONE!) is seeing what you’re seeing right now because it’s hilarious/horrifying/unbelievable. You are so desperate to find someone to share this moment with because you know that you will never be able to explain it.

So I won’t.

But that did get me thinking (surprise!) about all sorts of other things that I just could not explain – either because words are insufficient or because there’s just no darn good reason. I have compiled my thoughts into a list for your perusing pleasure:

1. My father & drive thru windows. Now, my father is a great man but why would a successful attorney have a complete and irrational aversion to the drive thru window? Not that this would stop him from using the drive thru – oh no! Instead, he would have me lean over from the passenger seat to shout out his order through the driver side window (UM, YEAH. BIG MAC WITH MEDIUM what? Large? Okay LARGE FRY AND A VANILLA SHAKE huh? Chocolate? You told me vanilla. Okay, fine, fine MAKE THAT A CHOCOLATE. NO I SAID CHOCOLATE. HOLD ON, LET ME UNBUCKLE MY SEATBELT TO LEAN CLOSER). I guess it just shows how much I love my dad. Or how much of an enabler I was.

2. My love for ABC Family movies (Bring it On 14? HECK YES!)

3. Miley Cyrus songs

4. Latin America’s adoration for all things Jean Claude Van Damme

5. How my son got to be so ridiculously cute – I know he’s mine. I was there.

6. Peanut Butter, Butter & Jelly sandwiches. What, you say? Who would put such a disgusting combination together? Everyone – meet my mother. Mother – meet everyone.

7. Anything Lil’ Wayne says

8. Dry clean only baby clothes

9. A world where Heidi Montag is a pseudo-celebrity

10. Jeggings (aka Jean Leggings) – Because trying to squeeze into skinny jeans doesn’t make us feel bad about ourselves enough. Although my friend Kristie can totally pull these off. I would be totally jealous if I didn't like her so much. But since I do, I call it friendvy (friendly envy). Check out her Style Blog here.

11. My uncanny knowledge of 90’s pop culture trivia, emphasis in Saved By the Bell

12. Why it’s only the most annoying songs that get stuck in your head (you spin me right round baby right round. Ha! Good luck getting rid of that one!).

13. Why I am sitting here writing this list even though my house is a mess, I am still in my workout clothes hours after working out and my son’s diaper is so full that he looks like the inspiration for General Larry Platte’s hit song “Pants on the Ground”.

I guess some thinks are just better left unexplained.


  1. hahaha...i am always cracking up when i read your blog. and the unexplainable wouldn't happen to be me letting my kid steal all your goods today would it?

    ps. i apologize for the post but you officially have a picture on blushing basics!

    (did balloons just drop from your ceiling?)

  2. HA HA!!! Your dad is my fav! I like his fights about what an ice cream sundae is because if it is with anything other than Vanilla it is not a sundae!

    Also Debbie getting stripper songs stuck in your head...BAD MOM! Oh wait I was listening to it at the gym today and I am still in my gym clothes too I thought everyone did that?